I can't afford a filter! Can you?

 A few days back, I stammered out of fear! Or out of shame? Or out of embarrassment? Or out of guilt? It was the strongest emotion I had ever felt. Maybe it was an amalgamation of all these at extreme and at once. 

26th January 2023

We almost destroyed our wedding anniversary by watching the movie "Pathaan." 

My wife Reena doesn't like action movies, and this time, no offense to SRK fans! But, "I, too, did not like it." 

Reena puts her mobile in her purse and says, "Let's get back home with an extra large ice cream tub; I am in no mood to cook today, and we are going for dinner tonight." 

"Of course, my lord," I said with a smile as we entered "Natural" Ice Cream.

Someone punched my chest at the exact moment I turned from the counter after giving the order. I was almost half bent saying, "Idiot, we are in our 30s now." 

He laughed; my best friend, Bhavya, said, "Don't know about you, but I'm in a different cadre." I took the support of the counter nearby and rose to give him a powerful punch at the exact same location he hit me, with the same power, if not more than him. 

Oh, man! I am not boasting, but I should not underestimate my power like this. I almost broke him on the floor. I gave a befitting reply, "What happened, soldier? Respect the colonel of your battalion!" 

This was the normal scene when we used to hit each other like this in college. 

"You're nuts! You hit me on the stomach." Bhavya replied after skipping a few seconds before gaining balance. Reena and Bhavika were laughing and looking at us. 

"Good to see them this way," Bhavika said; Reena nodded, and we hugged. 

Bhavya was looking fit, of course, more than me. He is one inch taller than me making him 6 ft. He wore a blazer as if he was coming directly from the office. I could not understand this and could not stop to ask, 

"How come?"

"Reena! you really did not tell him?" Bhavya asked while sitting on the chair around the table. 

Reena smiled and said, "Sorry!" looking at me. 

"This is unexpected, the best surprise on our 4th wedding anniversary. Thank you, bro. for coming."

"And what about bhabhi?" Bhavika made a face. 

"Of course, thank you, Bhavika," I replied. 

"Thank Reena, she insisted and convinced us," Bhavya replied. 

Reena made a lovable face at me, and I smiled at her. 

"Guys, stop it, yaar. This is not your honeymoon; you guys start anywhere!!" Bhavya said, pretending to be irritated. 

Reena's mobile rang, she stood up and allowed us to continue our talk. 

Bhavya: So..... after a long time!!

Me: Yeah, the last time we met at my place was during Reena's brother's weddi....

Before I completed my sentence, Bhavya was signaling me to keep quiet by putting his finger around his lips. But it was late and Bhavika raised her eyebrows. 

Bhavika: What?? When? They invited only Bhavya? and not me? 

I could not say anything. I knew I had goofed this time. There was silence for 3-4 seconds. 

Bhavika continued and at the same time Reena came back, 

Bhavika asked Reena, 

"You did not invite me to Bhavesh's wedding?"

Reena laughed and said, "I don't know, when did Bhavesh get married?"

Now, it was going to us. Bhavika again raised eyebrows against me and Bhavya. Bhavya was expecting me to reply and was looking at me, while I was afraid of goofing again. 

After 2-3 seconds, I replied with a fake smile on my face, 

"Actually, it was the marriage of Reena's cousin." 

This time Reena raised her eyebrows, 

Reena: Which cousin? What are you guys talking about? 

Me: It's nothing. We were talking about Tarun's wedding. 

Bhavika: But still the question is the same. Why was Bhavya invited and I was not? 

Now, I was cursing myself to say that. I had no strength left to say anything further. But Reena couldn't stop herself to add, 

"What? Even Bhavya was not invited and Kartik also did not attend the wedding."

Both started staring at us with a puzzled look. Bhavya was trying to say something but was fumbling with the words, 

Bhavya: I, actually ..... I.... 

I interrupted saying, 

"It was my plan." 

I continued "I called him saying let's party knowing no one's at home." 

Bhavika: Why did I not know about this party? 

Me: You guys were busy fighting with each other.

Bhavika and Bhavya took a glance at each other and both were cool now. I handled it smoothly when I started showing "My True Colors". 

I learned from my experience that if you're not good at lying then you should not. Because the problems of lying start after saying that lie. You need to remember that lie, you need to apply a filter to your persona that will constrain you to not be the actual version of yourself, and when you are not the actual version of yourself, your efficiency reduces, and you don't live with your true potential. You cannot perform to your true potential. 

In contrast, when there is not a single filter, you will be inside out. You will perform 100 % because you're an expert in being your true self, and more than that you will allow nature to condition you in the best possible way that is required for you. Sometimes we delay the much-needed learning by lying. But nature never spares us by not teaching! Sooner or later the learning will come to us with interest. So better to not delay that learning. 

So the moral of the story is: 

Remove all the filters and be "INSIDE OUT", not for others but for yourself. 

Now you know,  what I meant by saying "My True Colors"

Let it flow. Never restrict the flow, because even mountains have to give way to nature's flow sooner or later, and yeah with interest!